~I can bite my tongue
~I can stay away for days if ~that’s what you want
~Be your number one
~I can fake a smile
~Or force a laugh
~I can play that part if that’s what you ask
~I can do it
~But I’m only human
~And I bleed when I fall down
~But I’m only human
~And I crash and I break down
~Your words in my head
~Knives in my heart…
I kept singing along to the song playing on my headset – in tears.
At that point in my life,my motto was – “Life sucks”
After dropping me off at the orphanage that night, my savior left as fast as possible.
I asked for the manager, got to her office, gave her the letter without a word and sat down waiting for her reaction.
She looked petrified at first but regained her composure, asked me a few questions, then took me to a woman with whom she spoke to for a while before patting my head and walking out.
The woman who looked nice at first impression took me to a bedroom full of kids within my age range, introduced me and left.
I felt that was rude but that was the least of my problems at that moment.
I needed a place to lie down as fast as possible before I dropped dead on the floor.
Fatigue was an understatement to describe how I felt that particular night.
Luckily a girl walked up to me and asked me to follow her – with the others kids watching but I’d passed the stage of caring any longer.
According to her, two people had to share a bed and she was the only one in the room without a partner.
The moment she said – “So we’ll be sharing the bed”, I automatically fell on the bed and zoned out.
When I woke up the next morning the room was empty.
I rolled over to adjust myself and processed all that had happened the previous night.
- Some people were after my tender life.
- My guardian and only friend was probably dead trying to help me escape.
- I was stuck in an orphanage with no idea on the next step of my life.
I found the bathroom and freshened up.
After figuring out where to keep my backpack which was still lying on the bed I headed out of the room and followed the voices I heard until I got to somewhere that looked like a classroom.
As expected, all eyes were on me.
I scanned the class for a vacant seat and found one at the back, ignoring the stares.
I was at the cafeteria going over the things we were taught.
I remember smiling for the first time in the past 24 hours because they all seemed like ABC.
Except….the afternoon class which was based on programming and coding.
Never at that point in my life had I heard about it.
I remember struggling through to understand it’s basics but who was I kidding?
I couldn’t grab nada.
Neither did I ask anyone for help.
With time,I blended in but hardly talked to anybody.
Why was I in tears that particular morning two months after?
There was this girl who was the orphanage’s diva due to the fact that she was the best in all aspects of what we were taught.
Too bad I got into her bad books.
Few days after I had settled down, I ran into her.
I was rushing to get to class that evening but bumped into her, causing her IPhone to fall.
I didn’t even know it was an IPhone until she screamed out loud – “My IPhone! My Baby!”
I remember profusely apologising but ended up getting a slap and a shove instead.
“You worthless brainless hag! Do you know the levity of what you’ve done??”,she screamed into my face.
I tried apologising once again and attempted to pick up what was left of the phone and see if I could resurrect it but ended up yelping out in pains due to the stinging contact her shoe’s heels made with my hand.
She stepped on my hand!
After a few weak whimpers of begging her to release my hand, she did before picking the phone and throwing it to my face after which she walked out.
Ever since that incidence, she ensured my life was made a hell.
Everywhere I went, she ensured I was taunted.
I ended up skipping most classes.